present

this story, like many others I've experienced, is about Masala Dosa and coffee. Ghee masala dosa. 

I've been training for a marathon, a 42 kilometer(k) run one does for no fathomably obvious reason. As part of the training, last Sunday, I did a 25k run through the heart of Bangalore. I had decided to pace the run, which meant I began slow, felt every breath, and did not try to rush through the initial stages. It was also the first time I was experimenting with fueling the body during the run, which essentially boiled down to consuming carbohydrates and water throughout the run. 

It would not be an overstatement to say that that run, last Sunday, felt like cakewalk. I just felt very comfortable, fueled by the "easy Mihir, easy son", motivational pangs I kept throwing at and reminding myself of. The glucose boost I got at periodic intervals prevented any bodily collapse. I was impressed at what my body did that Sunday morning. Seriously impressed, this was no mean feat, to feel this comfortable for a whole 25k. 

I followed that with breakfast at Vidhyarthi Bhawan -- idli sambhar dip, a ghee masala dosa, and filter coffee. Heavenly. 

But the story takes shape today, Sunday, a week since that day. I was looking forward to today for the entire week. I wanted to make my body go through that feeling of comfort through a 25k again. I wanted to be impressed with my body, with me, at how far I've come. And most importantly, I wanted to eat that ghee masala dosa, and filter coffee post the run.

I began at 545AM, the body felt at ease, but not as at ease as a week before. I was running comfortably, but not comfortably enough. The, "easy Mihir, easy son", oratory boost was not doing the trick. It felt as if I was just saying it to mirror last week's run.  I was enjoying the feeling, but..you get the gist. The benchmark had been set, and somehow without intending to, I was chasing that feeling of last week.

In terms of numbers, I finished today's run just two minutes slower than last week's, not that speed is a metric I'm consciously chasing or a hurdle I'm trying to break. So purely in terms of physical performance, I did almost as well as last week. But the mental story was a whole lot different.

I didn't heed too much into it, because I was already on my way to the have the customary breakfast, the whole reason why I put my body through this in the first place.

I began with the idli sambhar dip, and wiped it out in no time. He then placed the ghee masala dosa in front of me. It was an external force, but somehow I made a mental note, and took conscious action to eat it slowly, take each bite, pause, close my eyes, and cherish it in the whole. I was transferred to another place. This bite, and this dosa, in that moment, felt like the best bite, and dosa I had ever had. I didn't want this feeling to go away. I wanted to be there, forever, and feel this heavenly every time I ate a ghee masala dosa. But alas.

It was then that I had this epiphany. Why chase a feeling I had in the past, however blissful, and comfortable it would have been? Maybe the run last week did feel better, but it's in the past. Today's run is different. Today's run is what comfortable feels like, it's what today is about, and beautiful in that.

Maybe in a world where we can measure how good a masala-dosa is, I don't have a better dosa than the one I had today, ever again. But it doesn't matter, because next time I take a bite at Vidhyarthi Bhawan, I'm going to close my eyes, and pause, and it will be beautiful

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